Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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