I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
