either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I'm gonna fight the coyote
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
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