imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
