1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
