White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
