I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize