I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
