Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
