AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
