Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
