Why are handjobs necessary in class?
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
