After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
babies were throwing up all over the place
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
This is my gift to your gina
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
