How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize