Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
