i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I love having hate sex.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
