i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
wow bdsm is so cute
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