I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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