You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
