another moral hangover. fuck.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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