Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
