I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
