You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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