wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
