It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
