Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
