hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Randomize
