Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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