I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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