Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Randomize
