I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Randomize