I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
