Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize