Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Randomize
