I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize