Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
