Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
