Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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