When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Randomize
