i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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