FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
