Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
