people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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