I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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