is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
