Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
