I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
