yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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