I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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