My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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