You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
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