I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Randomize
