end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Randomize
