At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
