so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
