So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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