So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
