How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
