i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
