So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
