please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
